Esej SAT
Na egzaminie SAT, w części "Writing" masz 25 minut na napisanie krótkiego eseju akademickiego.
Mimo krótkiego czasu, esej to ważna część, która może zaważyć na rezultacie całego egzaminu SAT. Za tę część można otrzymać aż 240 punktów (za cały egzamin SAT - maksymalnie 2400 punktów).
Zobacz przykładowy esej SAT, napisany przez Paulinę, finalistkę konkursu "Amerykańska matura - sprawdź się z Plusssz Active".
Temat eseju:
Przykładowy esej:
According to Don Marquis, development of civilization usually transmutes vegetation into bleak and barren deserts. This statement sounds very pessimistically, especially to people with vivid imagination. However, Little Prince from famous Antoine de Saint Exupery’s novel claimed that what makes the desert beautiful is that somewhere it hides a well. Did he suggest a chance for people to find among vast sand dunes a spring that could save the earth? I believe he did.
The first major step to combat hazards to our planet has already been taken. People have become aware of consequences of their deeds to the environment. Is it really so essential? I will prove the importance of this fact using an apparently remote example of such a phenomenon. When I remind myself of The Plague, the novel of Albert Camus, I always think about its first chapter. If Oran’s authorities had realized earlier how serious the situation was, they would not jeopardize so many people to the disease. Doctors would be able to treat their patients more effectively as well as protect other vulnerable citizens from infection. This fictitious problem can be compared to real attempts to save the environment. Even a dozen years ago only few conservationists, idealists similar to Doctor Rieux, were aware of dangers connected with polluting the world. A handful of greens was not able to protect the environment. Happily they managed to educate people; therefore today probably no person exists who would have never heard notions such as pollution or ecology. Since humans know enemies of the earth, they can effectively fight with them. Even a small child will confirm that protecting the environment can be easy what seems an immense opportunity for the world. Of course still too few people want to change their everyday habits such as leaving light in the room where they are not going to stay. Due to this fact, damages to the natural environment are increasing in such a pace that a catastrophe remains inevitable. Nevertheless, we should not be impatient. The mankind needs time, maybe even the whole generation, to get used to that new situation.
Eco-pessimists may argue that we cannot wait patiently until most of people make an effort to save the place they live, because when it finally happens, it will be too late to rescue our natural environment. To my mind their argument is only partly true. Obviously sitting on our hands and observing the earth being damaged is unacceptable. On the other hand, changes in the climate or biosphere happen not so rapidly as it appeals to many people concerned with our planet. Although it sounds like a paradox, the more developed the civilization becomes, the slower the nature is being spoiled. The reason is simple – new ways of saving the earth are strongly linked with both the progress in the technology and the changes in the society.
For instance, the aforesaid ecological education is nowadays strongly supported by modern inventions that make it not only much more common but also attractive. I must admit I get sometimes irritated when getting loads of leaflets from ecological organizations, not to mention doubtful eco-friendliness of such a method. Usually we do not have enough time or willingness to read carefully important information they contain. However, when somebody downloads a desktop with a text: Switch me off after you finish your work, he will never forget how much energy a computer consumes. Children can find on the Internet some humorous cartoons or movies about serious environmental issues and later model themselves after fearless heroes saving the world. Adolescences prefer to follow the fashion advertised by celebrities: they buy notebooks from waste paper, locally grown fruit and pack it all into biodegradable bags. Ecology has become both trendy and pleasant so it gains more and more admirers.
Modern technologies benefit not only to education, but also help directly to handle with particular environmental problems. First of all, they allow scientists to do research vital for measuring the level of anthrophopression in different parts of ecosystem. For example, computer modeling enabled them to predict which lands are going to get covered with water after the level of oceans raises due to the global warming. This is the reason why in 2009 people in all parts of the world watched with bated breath the Maledive’s cabinet session under water. Mohamed Nasheed, the president of this endangered insular country, succeeded in gaining attention to the problem of rising temperatures. People realized that global warming is not a new idea of mass media to gain audience but an urgent environmental problem that can and must be dealt with. Apart from sophisticated equipment used by scientists, we can often hear about new inventions that aim to facilitate our everyday struggle to rescue the earth. For instance, Australian researchers created a simple device which aerificates water so that during the shower we save one-third of that precious liquid. If all six billion people used this kind of showerhead, the hydrosphere would be safe! Of course developing countries’ citizens do not have access to such inventions, nonetheless their standard of life is improving so they soon will be able to afford it.
Advocates of the catastrophic vision of the environment’s future claim that its condition is too bad to rescue it. The existence of phenomena like global warming, ozone layer or extinction of endangered species is non-disputable. Moreover, Don Marquis assuring that each generation wastes a little more of the future was right. Nevertheless, he was right at the edge of 19th and 20th century. Nowadays, as I mentioned, everything has changed. Although the progress in conservation might not be observed by scientists, with no doubt our mentalities have altered. Most of us bear in mind that the future of the earth is in our hands. People have understood the famous statement of Lester Brown: We did not inherit the Earth from our ancestors. We have borrowed it from our children. As the most convincing proof I can mention Scandinavia. In spite of being wealthy and highly developed countries, they managed to save most of natural resources as well as ecosystems’ sustainability. These nations achieved it by respecting above-quoted thought. Instead of egoistic consumption of all fruit of earth, they have chosen concern about next generations, what resulted in a huge progress in conservation.
To conclude, I must stress that hazards to the earth are still of great importance. However, people have started to move in the right direction. Awareness of all dangers to the environment results in attempts to combat them even if that means only collecting waste paper or planting a few trees in the garden. All in all, I believe our civilization will not convert the natural environment into a huge desert. The humanity is heading step by step to the resounding success in saving the earth.
Esej z uwagami egzaminatora:
According to Don Marquis, A development of civilization usually transmutes vegetation into bleak and barren deserts. This statement sounds very pessimistically WF, especially to people with vivid imagination. However, Little Prince from famous Antoine de Saint Exupery’s novel WO claimed that what makes the desert beautiful is that somewhere it hides a well FORMATTING / IN-TEXT CITATION?. Did he suggest a chance for people to find among vast sand dunes a spring that could save the earth SS/ST? I believe he did.
The first major step to combat hazards to our planet has already been taken. People have become aware of A consequences of their deeds to the environment. Is it REF? really so essential? I will prove the importance of this fact using an apparently remote example of such a phenomenon. When I remind myself of The Plague, the novel of WW Albert Camus, I always think about its first chapter. If Oran’s authorities had realized earlier how serious the situation was, they would not jeopardize WT so many people to WW the disease. Doctors would be able WT to treat their patients more effectively P / COORDINATION as well as protect other vulnerable citizens from infection. This fictitious problem can be compared to real ST attempts to save the environment. Even ST/Awk a dozen years ago P only few conservationists, idealists similar to Doctor Rieux, were aware of dangers connected with polluting the world. A handful of greens ST/WF was SVA not able to protect the environment. Happily they managed to educate people; therefore P today probably no person exists who SS/WO would have never heard notions such as pollution or ecology FORMATTING. Since humans know enemies of the earth, they can effectively fight with them. Even a small child will confirm NFS that protecting the environment can be easy P what WP/REF seems an immense opportunity for the world SS. Of course P still too few people want to change their everyday habits such as leaving light WM in the A room where they are not going to stay Awk. Due to this fact, damages to the natural environment are increasing in such a pace that a catastrophe remains WW/ST inevitable. Nevertheless, we should not be impatient. The A mankind needs time, maybe even the whole generation, to get used to that new situation.
Eco-pessimists may argue that we cannot wait patiently until most of WW people make an effort to save the place they live, P because when it WP/REF finally happens, it will be too late to rescue our natural environment NFS. To my mind P their argument is only partly true. Obviously P sitting on our hands and observing the earth being damaged is unacceptable. On the other hand, changes in the climate or A biosphere happen not so rapidly as it appeals WW (WP?) to many people concerned with our planet. Although it WP sounds like a paradox, the more developed the civilization becomes, the slower the nature is being WT spoiled. The reason is simple – P (A DASH INSTEAD OF A COMMA) new ways of saving the earth are strongly linked with both the progress in the A technology and the changes in the society.
For instance, the aforesaid ecological education is nowadays strongly supported by modern inventions that make it not only much more common but also attractive. I must admit I get sometimes WO irritated when getting loads of ST leaflets from ecological organizations, not to mention A doubtful eco-friendliness of such a method WW/ST. Usually P we do not have enough time or willingness to read carefully important information they contain. However, when somebody downloads a desktop with a text: P Switch me off after you finish your work, he WP (GENDER BIAS) will never forget how much energy a computer consumes. Children can find on the Internet some ST (REDUNDANT) humorous cartoons or movies about serious environmental issues and later model themselves after fearless heroes saving the world. Adolescences WF prefer to follow the fashion advertised by celebrities: they buy notebooks from waste paper, locally grown fruit and pack it all into biodegradable bags PAR/COORDINATION/SS. Ecology has become both trendy and pleasant P so it gains more and more admirers.
Modern technologies benefit not only to education, P but also help directly to handle PAR/SS with WW particular environmental problems. First of all, they allow scientists to do research vital for measuring the level of anthrophopression S in different parts of A ecosystem. For example, computer modeling enabled WT them to predict which lands are going WT (UNCLEAR TIME CONTEXT) to get covered with water after the level of oceans raises WT (UNCLEAR TIME CONTEXT) due to the global warming. This is the reason why in 2009 people in all parts of the world watched with bated breath the A Maledive’s S cabinet session under water. Mohamed Nasheed, the president of this endangered insular country, succeeded in gaining attention to the problem of rising temperatures. People realized WT that global warming is WT (UNCLEAR TIME CONTEXT) not a new idea of mass media to gain audience but an urgent environmental problem that can and must be dealt with. COHESION Apart from A sophisticated equipment used by scientists, we can often hear about new inventions that aim to facilitate our everyday struggle to rescue the earth. For instance, Australian researchers created a simple device which aerificates water so that during the shower ST we save one-third of that precious liquid. If all ST/WW six billion people used this kind of showerhead, the hydrosphere would be safe! Of course P developing countries’ citizens do not have access to such inventions, P nonetheless P their standard of life is improving P so they soon will be able to afford it REF (NFS).
A Advocates of the catastrophic vision of the environment’s future claim that its REF condition is too bad to rescue it ST/Awk. The existence of phenomena like global warming, A ozone layer or A extinction of endangered species is non-disputable. Moreover, Don Marquis P assuring that each generation wastes a little more of the future FORMATTING / P was right. Nevertheless, he was right at the edge of A 19th and 20th century. Nowadays, as I mentioned ST/WT, everything has changed VAGUE. Although the progress in conservation might not be observed by scientists, with no doubt our mentalities have altered ST/WO. Most of us bear in mind that the future of the earth is in our hands (NFS). People have understood the famous statement of Lester Brown: P We did not inherit the Earth from our ancestors. We have borrowed it from our children FORMATTING. As the most convincing proof P I can mention Scandinavia. In spite of being wealthy and highly developed countries, they Awk managed to save most of natural resources P as well as ecosystems’ sustainability. These nations achieved it by respecting A above-quoted thought. Instead of A egoistic consumption of all fruit of earth ST, they have chosen concern about A next generations, what WP resulted in a huge ST progress in conservation.
To conclude, I must stress ST that A hazards to the earth are still of great importance. However, people have started to move in the right direction. A Awareness of all dangers to the environment results in attempts to combat them even if that means only collecting waste paper or planting a few trees in the A garden. All in all, I believe our civilization will not convert the natural environment into a huge desert. The humanity is heading step by step to the resounding success in saving the earth.
85% (204 / 240)
CONS:
- coherence problems: too many different subject groups;
- unclear thesis statement – imprecise focus;
- some formatting problems;
- minor sentences structure and grammar problems;
- lack of references to specific external sources;
PROS:
- sophisticated vocabulary (even the more informal fragments of the essay are balanced by precise adjectives and adverbs)
- little “fat” - concise style;
CORRECTION SYMBOLS USED:
A = article
C = capitalization
DM = dangling modifier
FRAG = sentence fragment
NFS = needs further support
P = punctuation
PAR = parallelism
REF = reference
SS = sentence structure
ST = style
SVA = subject verb agreement
TrS = transition signal
WF = wrong form
WM = word missing
WO = wrong word order
WP = wrong pronoun
WW = wrong word
Zobacz też: